When I was a kid growing up in Minnesota, there were many places to hike and be in the woods.
And one of the things that I still distinctly remember was what we called stickers or prickers or burrs. You would walk through the woods and they would stick to your clothes. Right? They were these thorny parts of a plant. I don’t even know where they came from, but they would get all along your pant legs and your sweaters or your shirts.
They were sharp and sticky, and they stuck around. Sometimes, you would find them for days. I can remember going out in the woods with the dogs, and you would find the burrs under their bellies days after you had been out of the woods.
Our words are like those stickers long after we have delivered a message. So often, we think that we are being directive or prescriptive, especially if we’re frustrated with a team member or a client. Or we’re angry, and we say something, and we have been building it up.
We’ve been planning it in our head. We’ve been practicing it. Or maybe just in a moment of anger, it comes out, and we feel better. We feel better because we’ve expelled that emotion. But we forget that long after we feel better, long after the conversation is done, and long after we think we’ve delivered the message and moved on, the recipient hasn’t moved on. That sticker, that burr is still on their pant or under their belly, and they can’t take it off. They can’t shake it. They can’t forget it. And that leaves a mark. And it leaves a mark that sometimes is permanent. And even if it’s not permanent, it lingers much longer than we think.
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Hey, everybody. Drew McLellan here from Agency Management Institute this week coming to you from home in Denver, Colorado. You know, when I was a kid growing up in Minnesota — Minnesota, if you've never been there, it's really a spectacular place. But there was a lot of places to hike and be out in the woods. And, as a kid, of course, we spent lots of time out doing that. And one of the things that I still distinctly remember from all of that time, sort of out in the woods, was what we called stickers or prickers or burrs. And you would walk through the woods and they would stick to your clothes. Right? They were these thorny parts of a plant. I don't even know where they came from, but they would get all along your pant legs and your sweaters, or your shirts. And they took forever to get off and they hurt if they dug through your the cloth on your leg. And they hurt when you pulled them off. But they were they were sharp and they were sticky and they stuck around. And sometimes you would find them for days. Or I can remember going out in the woods with the dogs and the dog and having to pull them off the dogs, and you would find them under their belly days after you had been out of the woods.
And I think that one of the things we don't think about is how our words are like those stickers, how long after we have delivered a message. So, so often we think that we are being, we are being directive or prescriptive, especially if we're frustrated with a team member. Or a client even. Or we're angry and we say something and we have been building it up. We've been planning it in our head. We've been practicing it. Or maybe just in a moment of anger, it comes out and we feel better. We feel better because we've expelled that emotion. But what we forget is that long after we feel better, long after the conversation is done, long after we think we've delivered the message and we've moved on. The reality is the recipient hasn't moved on. That that sticker, that burr is still on their pant or under their belly and they can't take it off. They can't shake it. They can't forget it. And that leaves a mark.And it leaves a mark that sometimes is permanent. And even if it's not permanent, it lingers much longer than we think it does.
So I want you to think of your words as burrs and I want you to think about, this idea that when we talk to other people, whether it is an employee, whether it's a client, whether it's a business partner, a vendor, somebody in our personal life, even that our words are like those burrs that sort of stick on the underside of their belly. And, and what words do you want to have stuck under somebody's belly for a while?And what is the lasting damage that when out of frustration or anger, you let your words fly, thinking that they're going into the air and they will dissipate? And I'm telling you, that's just not the way it works. They don't just dissipate. When they are sharp words, when they are super complimentary words. Again, it's not just bad words, it's when they are on either spectrum of the emotion, when they are said with great love and appreciation, or when they are said out of frustration and anger, they tend to stick on the underbelly of the person that we deliver them to. And they last a long time. And the consequence of that lasting is more significant than you think.
And so I invite you to be thoughtful about the words that you use and that maybe you can be more intentional on the love and appreciation side, and maybe you could be more measured and opt out of a conversation if you're feeling super riled up, maybe that's not the time to have the conversation. Or if you hear your voice escalating to a tone or a volume that has a vehemence to it, you have to understand that that vehemence is sticky and that it often can have unintended consequences in your relationship and your partnerships in the way you view each other. In the, the feelings that you have for each other. And so I'm inviting you to think of your words as burrs and be thoughtful about what burrs you really want to stick on your people. Whether, again, employees, clients, whoever it may be. Our words matter and they stick around a lot longer than we think. So choose them wisely. Okay?
